My new friend from Nigeria - A Series, Part Two SHITTY UPDATE

Mr. Newman Roberts sent me his very own telephone number, numbers to the bank, and even account numbers. What ever shall I do?? Oh.. he also sent me a picture of himself - I guess. ick! This is how I would describe him:














SHITTY UPDATE

After a week or so of inticing, I didn't get very far with Roberts...or Newman...or Sade. I sent this email:

Dear Mr. Newman,

I'm sorry for not replying soon enough. My internet
tubes were clogged all weekend because Verizon is a
corporatist multinational that subjugates the
proletariat. My apologies for these fascist dicks!

Anyhoo, thank you so much for your pictures. You are
quite the dashing young fellow! In fact, you look just
like my neighbor Kevin.

But before we can commence my contact with your dead
father's bank, I have to be sure I can trust you. I
must be confident that I am conducting business
relations with someone who has the same vision as I
do.

As I said in my previous email, I totally think this
arts and crafts idea of mine is going to be big. And I
have to have a partner who is able and willing to put
together some of the prototypes with me that we will
be giving to some manufacturing companies here in the
U.S. to mass produce for us.

Therefore, I need you to put together one or two of
these glittery shakers that I described in my previous
email. Here are the instructions:

1. Get Two paper plates, some dry coffee beans, glue,
glitter, and colored markers.
2. Place a small amount of the beans between the two
paper plates, glue the plates together, and decorate
the outside of the plates to your liking with the
glitter and colored markers. I just want to see your
artistic ability at this point.
3. Take some pictures of your creation and email them
back to be as soon as possible!

Anxious to see what you are made of!

You Czaritza,

crystal dawn

...along with another picture of me:


....and this was his reply:

Date: Thu, 6 Dec 2007 16:17:49 +0900 (JST)
From: newman_robertsXXX@yahoo.co.jp
Subject: I hard you Crystal
To: "Crystal"

Dear Crystal,
I wonder why you are doing the way you are doing.
I got your mail and write to let you to know that I contacted you for ann assistance to transfer my inheritance and not me doing art work like you always said.
I am not into art business you knows better.
I don't think that I can do any other thing than the one's that I have already done for you.
I want to put it clear if you are not interested in doing this transaction with me you simple like me understand it clear than asking some one like myself to do what I could not understand why?
I am looking forward to hear from you immediately so that I will simple know that there is no business with you.
Anyway, the ball is on your cut.
Have a nice day,
Roberts.

In other words, it was only wishful thinking on my part. I guess I'm just not as good as the 419eater.com crowd. lol